FUUUUUUUUCK

May. 2nd, 2011 10:52 pm
fai_dust: BtVS: 5x15 - I Was Made to Love You (.the hell)
God fucking damnit! I am deeply ashamed of my Country.
fai_dust: Stargate SG-1: 10x03 - The Pegasus Project (.ooh)

1. Fish out keys and unlock door
2. As quietly as possible, enter
3. (as though 2 negligible), tell dogs to be quiet
4. Put any take-away away & drpo purse on kitchen table
5. Once dogs silent, take my dog out back to pee
---5(a) Encourage/coax/bribe my puppy onto the damn grass (because he's afraid of the dark)
---5(b)Once 10 min. up, go inside (with dog) regardless of his actions
6. Text friend [who I was out with] that I am home safely
7. Take sleeping pills
8. Get glass of water (and leftovers if desired)
9. Get into bed & make req'd "I am intoxicated" DW (& LJ cross-)post

+ my mother's dog decided she needed to go outside, too, but wouldn't leave the damn porch until after Danny (my dog) and I went inside.

PS(1); please ignore the spelling, both to my f-list (in this post) and to [personal profile] conser (in the case of the 'home safe' text)
PS(2); other shit to follow at least 8h later (given 5h is my gen buffer time b/t posts & I hope to get to sleep in 1-2 hours)
.....PS(2)[a]; with a "Melissa Ethridge is awesome post I wrote a while ago
..........PS(2)[a](i); unless it ends up being a bitch-fest about my mother having from yesterday (Good Friday) until Thrusday off, because she does and she's always insanely stress-crazy when she's taken vacation time.
PS(3); Lifesaver sherbert is fucking sweet, and as [personal profile] conser can tell you, if I'm bitching about it, it's likely just diabetes incarnate
fai_dust: marvel comics: NewMutantsII - issue #03 (.excited)

I looks like I used up all my LJ points on re-doing the layout, because I can't sign in even to comment anymore. Oh well.
 
On the upside, I FINNALY GOT TO SLEEP AGAIN! YAY! Also, got around to posting 3 SG fics (all just barely-slash. I like skirting the edge, I guess.) Now if only I could actually post them on LJ.
fai_dust: law & order: 15x13 - Ain't No Love (Default)
So, my head's a sieve. If I need to do something, I'd better damn well do it when I am told / remember about it because if I don't, it is not going to happen. Being on stupid pills mixed with no-sleep levels of manic and stress from dealing with random bitch attacks from my sister... well, I'm sure you get my point.
Along with this, I apologise to the >90% of my journal f-list who's not on DW as well as LJ; the site was being a jerk to me again, so I couldn't use it past cross-posting through DW. Hell, half the time, my computer couldn't see that even exsisted.

The gist of this? If I owe you something, you need me to do something, or anything else, please don't be afraid to tell me point-blank on here. I can semi-work LJ again and will be trying to catch up with you all.
Thank you for your understanding if you have even a little; I am fully aware of what a special case I've been the last while and I am going to do my damndest to improve.

edit: (aprox. 2h later) I've finally changed my LJ layout, which I've been meaning to do for at least 6 months, but probably needed doing for a lot longer then that. If it's too girly, juvinile or offends you visually in any other way, please feel free to tell me. I fully admit I do not have the best judgement right now.
fai_dust: Questionable Content #1696 (.sick: sleepless)

when I can relate to anything from Yelling Bird, it isn't a good sign.

 
Also, stoned on Ativan and semi-functional on very strong tea.

blegh

Apr. 11th, 2011 10:53 am
fai_dust: Eureka: 2x11 - Maneater [Lexa Doig as Anna Young] (.work sucks)
...so no sleeping caught up me me and I've been feeling like total crap for the last four or five days. Not fun. But in an effort to cheer myself up, I present a very silly song, which is also the perfect example as to why Studio 60 was awesome and bit the big one when it came to ratings.

.

also...

Mar. 31st, 2011 04:42 pm
fai_dust: The Bridge: 1x01 - Red Door (the bridge: .billy)

 - It always shocks even me when it takes me just short of forever to write a post that I already (pretty much) know what I'm going to write. In this case, the last post took around two hours to do. I started at 12:20 and didn't get it done until 2:30. The Bridge: 1x01 - Red Door

 - Yesterday, early evening (actually shortly before my computer fucked up), I made an icon in celebration of my (until that point) great luck. (Billy, from the opening of the pilot episode of The Bridge) It also took stupid-long, but at least this time I can blame it on needing to take 50+ caps of the scene -using VLC, which is slow to cap with-, and the scene cuts between characters very quickly. 

 - I'm trying to decide the... something, manors is the closest word, I guess, of distributing images (screen caps, scans, whatever) by someone else. Not on a website or anything, but as part of the (long overdue) December gifts for people. To make icons/pixel dolls/ect, I collected images all into one folder to make the actual making of the things easier, and I can't decide if I should also inclure a zip folder of the images for the recipients' use as well. I would also include a text file with credit to the source, but it still might be breaking internet ediquet or whatever.
fai_dust: law & order: 15x13 - Ain't No Love (Default)
So, apparentally, being 23 is looking to be a good age. Even though I'm at the second worst point in my life health-wise, it feels like the universe is looking to help make up for it.

so many awesome things are happening right now )

PS; please help me with this if you haven't already!
fai_dust: Blue Bloods: 1x11 - Little Fish (blue bloods: 1x11 - curatola)
"Abuse of prescription stimulants is higher amongst college students than non-college attending young adults. College students use methylphenidate either as a study aid or to stay awake longer. Increased alcohol consumption due to stimulant misuse has additional negative effects on health. Methylphenidate's pharmacological effect on the central nervous system is almost identical to that of cocaine. Studies have shown that the two drugs are nearly indistinguishable when administered intravenously to cocaine addicts.
Methylphenidate (re-direct from "Methylphenidate HCl") page at wikipedia.org
why did I decide to look into this? )
fai_dust: Eureka: 2x03 - Unpredictable (.dumb)

Colbert: Mainly, I want to see it to get answers about the shocking regime collapse on everybody's mind; Canada's coalition minority government, lead by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, fell today. The Canadian government has fallen! As we speak, [I know a chilling story,] as we speak, marauding bands of rebel Inuit are storming parliament on beaver-back while embattled prime minister Stephen Harper orders mounties to dump cauldrons of mapel syrup on them!
    - [March 28, 2011]
Good to know this is happening in my country.

Also, I may have a way to beat the hazy brain. Free-based crack* is the shit!

*I am in no way promoting free-based crack, or any other drug not perscribed by a licensed physician. In actuality, they have put me back on the brand-name ADD medication methylphenidate hydrochloride Concerta which has much different effects then the generic drug, as well as upping my dose to off-set the stupid-brain of my antipsychotics.
fai_dust: marvel comics: X-23; Target X - issue #06 (.blank)
***** these were written at various times over the last few weeks when I thought them but was too fried to post. I apologise if there are any typos; each and every one was all but unreadable when I actually typed them, but I did run it through spell-check on MS Word, so I hope I got the majority of the mess. *****

sad fact just editing and cleaning this up took... too long. I opened the page at "22:43" and finished at "23:55". Jeeze.

 - I really dislike wiki sites. It took me this side of forever to not hate them immediately because of the potential unreliability of them (I don't care what anyone says about how a wrong answer can be corrected as quickly as under a minute; I know of four incidents involving people I know personally and in 'real life' [as opposed to on-line] where it was the wrong information that kept getting 'corrected'), bitching because I can't figure out the damn rules + gushing over ComicVine )

 - Sometimes, words are awesome but right now, I despise my vocabulary. Unless I know someone really well**, I can come off as either harsh, pissed off or attacking when I don't mean too. Apparently, saying that 'x' template email was used to justify the deletion of a submission is being rude, but that's the most descriptive word I can come up with. "Explain" doesn't fit because the email didn't explain anything.
  **or they happen to have an X-Files reference as their username not be angered because they say the same things with the intent of being a (funny) pain in the ass being harsh.
added in editing/just before posted (this isn't something that needs to be said on a general post, but I'm going to anyways) I am more than a little amused by this note and it's sub-point because I had a conversation on this very subject last night with her.


 - You know how sometimes when you watch a show that you haven't seen in a long time and when you watch it again, you wonder how you didn't see how truly **awful** it is? Well, I caught myself thinking the reverse when I was watching Star Trek; Voyager a while back. I always remember it as being poorly acted in the beginning, not all that good with continuity, having created Seven for gratuities sexuality and just really hokey. I attribute watching it to it being _Star Trek_. But when I actually watch it, it's not nearly as bad as I always think of it.

 - ( http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=91) I cannot comprehend a situation where paying for alcohol is equivalent to covering pizza except maybe in the case of a children's BD party and the parents of birthday child drinking after.

 - spent a full day dicking around on the Blue Bloods Wikia site. A very long no-point detail list of what specifically I did and justifications for everything can be found here; http://bluebloodstv.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Pixie_child/self-absorbed_mind_drop

 - I have found a new way to be horrified and very amused at the same time; http://wonkette.com/. shifting blame + recs found at 2AM )

 - Wow, I'm getting a little political lately. I know it is just through quoting one of the awesome-ness of one of the coolest "Old Guys" on TV, but still. They're directly currently politically-related, so it feels pretty damn close. And while I'm pretty sure no one on my f-list** is a [what's the US equivalent of Canada's Conservative party? I can't keep the two names separate because unlike up here in the land of "Universal" health care, neither words are (as far as I know) words in the English language], but just in case, I apologise. I don't want to offend anyone. Well, not unless you would vote the illiterate media whore, ah, "companion". Then I am not going to say anything in your regard, because I'm a firm believer in the rights of everyone, but you really challenge that.
  **reading this and not a member of my f-list? Seriously? Well, after questioning your sanity (^_^), I invite you to contact me either through commenting, PM-ing via LJ or DW, or emailing me! If I haven't scared you off yet, I'm almost guaranteed to be more than willing to babble incoherently with you.

 - suddenly overwhelmed by 14-year-old guilt from back when I spent two weeks with my aunt and uncle. an instance where I was reminded how everything is a reflection on my father )

 - I'm easily amused. Apparently, Jeri Ryan's birth last name is Zimmerman. cue Star Trek-related giggles
    - also just learned that she turned down a cameo offer to be in (Star Trek) Nemesis, and only asked Kate Mulgrew after. I have nothing against Jeri Ryan, but seriously? Janeway made much more sense than Seven of Nine to appear.

 - this is super cute; http://www.kimonostownhouse.com/

 - I fucking hate the '07 layout of Microsoft Word, but I [well, my OSAP grant] paid for it and it would be stupid to pay for a downgrade just because I'm a stubborn jackass when it comes to change. I just wish I could do the same thing with it as I did for running Windows Vista (I've got it set to look like Windows '98).

 - I really like using DreamWidth as my alpha journal for many reasons, but the major ones are that the posting interface just feels cleaner and the staff is so damn helpful and friendly. Also, because I don't have to fight with logging in and DW allows me to cross-post. That being said, I guess LJ has spoiled me because I find it incredibly inconvenient not to be able to tag my entries with a tick-box list and it drives me up the wall when I want to have more than one space at a time, because you just can't do it in the Rich Text format (they are removed in the post), and if you put the   into the code box then switch to Rich Text for any reason, they are removed then as well. Little things, but they get to me.

 + another thing I had intended to add to my list of upcoming posts; a work-in-progress meme. It is actually one of the few things I could have done in the last few weeks, because it would require little thought, except that there are at least 75+ files in my "in progress" folder and have no idea how to compile the list without having to copy/paste or re-type all the file names out.
fai_dust: Star Trek; DS9: 7x03 (.back on track)

I have been home since Sunday. I am still feeling crazy, but to the few friends I mentioned my, uh, experimentation with my meds, it was informative. The second night, I actually had Greg a little worried because I was so mellow (and not bouncing off the walls or wanting to spin around every thirty minutes), happy just to watch Andromeda and either doodle or play Solitare.

Also, because I am too ADD to work on the over-due holiday gifts, I have been staring at a story board for one of my own conceps that will never see the light of day, and coming up with 'clever' t-shirt designs for a specific tries-too-hard character. ∴ this lead to me having to check with Google to see if it was "Rule 43" or "Rule 34", and I re-found this; http://www.xkcd.com/305/ Likely most of the internet population has read it before, but it's silly and cute.

PS (another dumb quote); I can't get "All right, you liberal pansy sex fiends! 1940s morality is back and it's going to set you fuckers straight!" out of my head. Which is not abnormal, but what should be at least a little worring is that even as an uptight, margenly homophobic, mock (as in, not from a real comic), Steve Rogers still just seems 'quirky'. (from this mock, which I've rec-ed before and am sure most of you have seen as well.)
fai_dust: marvel comics: XFactorIII - issue #014 (.unimpressed)
 
"...hi lady. What's my number?"
 
This is the message I sent to my sister, about tow minutes after asking her if she minded if I sent her a text. (I needed her to tell me my cell number. I couldn't find it anywhere.) It is also the reason for her to be pissed at me today. Apparentally, it's creepy, because it sounds like I'm hitting on her. This is the girl who talks about "banging" specific old men (RDA, Jon Stewart, Sam Waterston and Richard Belzer usually), "diddling little Asian children", "jizzing" in her pants if she ever visits Japan and describes having her period in the most graphic ways possible. And these are just the first examples that come to mind.
fai_dust: BtVS: 1x12 - Prophecy Girl (.sick)
Yesterday's problem has sorted itself out, pretty much. I can understand people again, but it does take some effort. Luckily (in regards to communicating with insensitive jackasses), I usually respond (and generally speak) so fast that my delay just makes me seem close to average and just a little slow.


CMHC is run by doctors who gave themselves their MD )


I'm going to see my GP today. He listens to me and tries to help.
fai_dust: BtVS: 1x12 - Prophecy Girl (.sick)
Not only was the doctor's visit a waist of three hours, but now I have been afflicted my that weird thing from DS9. I cannot comprehend English. I was watching SGA and all the words are garbled. I can read and write, but not understand spoke words.
 
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

so... yeah

Feb. 14th, 2011 09:46 am
fai_dust: BtVS: 1x12 - Prophecy Girl (.sick)
 
Friday, I was actually blind for a large part of the day due to weird images right in my direct line of sight and thick, black, oily outlines that took up everything but my peripheral vision. Not fun. I did, however, get most of my fanfic that was on my LJ moved to the DW comm. Yay.
 
Still feel like shit, though, and I'm still seeing things. I do have an appointment with CMHC (or whatever the hell they're calling it now), so maybe something can be done about it sooner then my other medical issues.
 
Spent the weekend running errends, which is not fun at any time, but even worse when there's things going on that aren't real but seem like it.
 
Also, I feel all foggy-brained today. Yuck.
fai_dust: BtVS: 5x15 - I Was Made to Love You (.the hell)
(still at home, still seeing things, going a little extra crazy because I am at home)

1. "The first thing the Warren Commission found is that it is easier to reach a predetermined decision if you overlook pesky distractions. These include unreliable witnesses who might testify to things that don't fit in with your theory, physical evidence that hasn't been planted medical evidence that hasn't been altered, Mafia co-conspirators who haven't been rubbed out yet, et cetera." [UFOs, JFK, and Elvis by Richard Belzer (pg.33)]
It is the shit. Awesome, funny, cynical and in no way meant to be taken compleatly serously. More info here.
.
2. While looking for a quote from a children's book (which I still haven't found), found this site and ended up making a profile. Yay books!
- I haven't decided if I'm going to add series, because it would take a while to find 8-16 books per series, or TV-related books (BtVS, Star Trek, ect.)
.
3. A while ago, my grandmother started to read "cowboy books", most of which she buys at the drugstore. A few months ago, I realized that was code for "porn, set in the wild west".
.
4. From grade 11 'university-level' chemistry: "Dylan and Harper, ionic, MX (polar)". Somehow, this is a way to remember chemical bond types. It was expanded to include stuff for my college Organic Chemistry class, which may be rembled about later, when I find the post-it and feel like doing so at the same time I remember I wanted to.
.
5. "Calm down?! I am wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that? No-talent douchebags." I don't follow Supernatural, it just got too dark and continuity-based for a show that didn't start out as either. But I remember my sister watching it ages ago when I was in the room and every time I remember this line, it sends me into giggles. Last year, I told a classmate about it (after class) and a guy (an adult in the class) overheard me and yelled "Are you dissin' H?", really offended. Now, I have my own obsessions, but really, I never actually said who Dean (and by extention, I) was talking about, so that's really rather sad.
.
6. ...uh, actually this one is quazi-related to #5, at least in my own brain... "...Beyond the series, Bono is especially notable for being an Irish guy on a sci-fi TV show not played by Colm Meaney." Because it's very true and while Colm Meaney is awesome, so is Mark Sheppard. (The quote is from a page that used to be on Wiki Frakr, but, along with most of their best pages, broke, and had to be retrived from the web.archive site here.
.
7. At least once a week, when I get serious-brain, I think about making a "happy-thoughts" comm (yes, I just made that up) where a weekly challange is something like "post an image of a cute animal" or "a quote related to (x)", usually non-fandom specific and no upsetting shit allowed. Then I think, what would be the point? I mean, I could probably wrangle a few friends into co-mod-ing it with me, but would anyone other then me actually get anything out of it?
.
8. I fould my cell phone, which I lost at least six months ago, a few days ago! I knew it was somewhere in my room, but I couldn't find the damn thing until I was looking for the power coard to my extrenal hard drive. Which I still have to find, but whatever.
.
9. I miss The Bridge. I know there are a bunch of cop shows out there and most have a very similar concept, but this was one of the few that didn't. Also, it gave a different perspective to the police force. Granted, it wasn't always a positive one, but that's how life is. I mean, I respect and am greatful for the work the police do, but there are always going to be people who mess up, are stupid, and even corrupt, no matter what job they do. And the acting was really good, too.
.
10. "This is the New York that I love-- the one you never see on a postcard." / "Now, there's an untapped market; tranny hooker postcards." Is 'tranny' ('trannie'?) an offensive term? I've heard people say it is (well, read people say so, mostly on S-D), but usually, when I hear the actual term used, it's mostly just as a lazy way of saying transsexual.
(...and by the way, Blue Bloods is awesome. Watch it!)
.
11. Why is it that LJ & DW mood images have 'drunk' as an unhappy face but 'crazy' as a good one?
. .
fai_dust: battlestar 2003: 1x02 - Water (.breakdown)

I'm having hallucinations, this time worse then anything I can remember that wasn't caused by a week of no sleep. So I couldn't go to school today. Also, I missed Thursday because I couldn't walk. This is not good.

Lots of weird shit going on, none of it staying in my head long enough to post. And my minset has been just this side of too serious to be fully happy. Yuck.

So to go with my mindset (and because I've run out of funny/light hearted drama with silly banter, not to mention attempting to shake a rather peculiar image from my crazy-brain), I present you quotes from Law and Order 6x23, because even though the whole episode is depressing on every level, it's got that whole moral-delema from both perspectives that caused so much contraversy and a lot of character bulding. blah,blah[mini rant/review of ep],blah,blah )
.
You can quit the profession, Claire. You just can't quit the human race. )
 
And now for two other TV related bitching points;
- Big Bang Theory; did anyone else get the impression that whole creepy Raj fantasizing about the squeeky girl was an excuese to get away with the dance sequance?
- Mr. Sunshine; I liked the pilot, although it felt like Matthew Perry took all my favorite aspects of his character in Studio 60 and used them in this. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. It was cute. And if it manages to stay the way it was set up, it won't make it past a full season. Suck is the way of comedy with quazi non-PC humor.
fai_dust: Stargate Atlantis: 2x04 - Duet (.not sure)

Just thought I'd share: my puppy is a suck and eyeinng me like he's starving. Also, cold/soggy french-fries with mayo are not nearly as good as hot/crisp fries with mayo. I have had to defaut back to ketchup because I'm too impatient to properly reheat them in the oven.

edit: also, how weird is it that I had to edit 'crisps' to 'french-fries' and 'far too impatient' to just 'too impatient'? Evidentally, I think I'm English. And while, yes, Canadian, I'm still from North America, and should not be thinking in those words. Maybe it's to compensate for the fact that when I get absolutely smashed I sound like I'm from the Southern States?
PS; Liz; Yes, to maintain this lovely buzz (at 2:30AM, 3h after leaving your place), I am still drinking on my own. Forgive me, but I am feeling better then I have in almost a month and don't want to loose it until I absolutely have to. But I'm still working on the smaller half-full bottle of Wyborona vodka I mentioed I'd intended to bring, not that giant bottle of Smirnoff I bought (in Dec.) to share with you.
 
edit(2): I coose to believe that the reason (re; subject) is because most of my f-list is in North America and therefor likely asleep and the other is in Austraila and doing work things (Hi, Kimberly!). Also, I must be drunker then I thought, because I should not have been stumbling when I too my dog out to go pee; also I'm craving meat (well, actually, McCrap burgers, so I'm not entirely sure that counts. And even if it does, I blame it on watching 1x12 of Eureka seven hours ago). Serously guys, you're missing out on some batshit crazy querys.
fai_dust: battlestar 2003: 1x04 - Act Of Contrition (.wish me luck)

Just back from dinner/drining at a friends (+TV; Eureka 1x12 & Supernatural 1x03 [assuming the pilot counts as one ep]) so I am a little tipsy.
    - also, home safe, Liz. Sorry I couldn't call; I can't find the bloody phone, but I did send you an email, so don't worry.
 
Life Update: Lately, by the end of class and on weekends, I've been utterly exausted and while that's no excuese, I am sorry for flaking. If anyone needs to contact me, I've created a temp. email address so I can avoid the terror that is my inbox; eccentricavoidance@onlytoexcess.org
 
I am enjoying school for the most part, but it's taking a lot out of me. I will make all the posts I have noted in my notebook eventually (if I had any sort of cell phone, I could concider upgrading to a smart phone (?) just so I could use the LJ app like [personal profile] colls).
 
PS; Dragon; Naturally Speaking is a pain in the ass. I've tried using it multipul times to get the very late holiday fics types and it gets, like, one of every five or six words correct. Phhhhhhhh
 
edit: speaking of drinking, refer to here (LJ) or here (DW)  ^_^

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