philosophy

FUUUUUUUUCK

2011-05-03T02:54:40Z

God fucking damnit! I am deeply ashamed of my Country.

comments

Procedure for coming home intoxicated

2011-04-23T07:21:03Z

1. Fish out keys and unlock door
2. As quietly as possible, enter
3. (as though 2 negligible), tell dogs to be quiet
4. Put any take-away away & drpo purse on kitchen table
5. Once dogs silent, take my dog out back to pee
---5(a) Encourage/coax/bribe my puppy onto the damn grass (because he's afraid of the dark)
---5(b)Once 10 min. up, go inside (with dog) regardless of his actions
6. Text friend [who I was out with] that I am home safely
7. Take sleeping pills
8. Get glass of water (and leftovers if desired)
9. Get into bed & make req'd "I am intoxicated" DW (& LJ cross-)post

+ my mother's dog decided she needed to go outside, too, but wouldn't leave the damn porch until after Danny (my dog) and I went inside.

PS(1); please ignore the spelling, both to my f-list (in this post) and to conser (in the case of the 'home safe' text)
PS(2); other shit to follow at least 8h later (given 5h is my gen buffer time b/t posts & I hope to get to sleep in 1-2 hours)
.....PS(2)[a]; with a "Melissa Ethridge is awesome post I wrote a while ago
..........PS(2)[a](i); unless it ends up being a bitch-fest about my mother having from yesterday (Good Friday) until Thrusday off, because she does and she's always insanely stress-crazy when she's taken vacation time.
PS(3); Lifesaver sherbert is fucking sweet, and as conser can tell you, if I'm bitching about it, it's likely just diabetes incarnate

comments

it's a bit of a trade-off

2011-04-19T16:05:34Z

I looks like I used up all my LJ points on re-doing the layout, because I can't sign in even to comment anymore. Oh well.

On the upside, I FINNALY GOT TO SLEEP AGAIN! YAY! Also, got around to posting 3 SG fics (all just barely-slash. I like skirting the edge, I guess.) Now if only I could actually post them on LJ.

comments

what memory?

2011-04-18T08:04:49Z

So, my head's a sieve. If I need to do something, I'd better damn well do it when I am told / remember about it because if I don't, it is not going to happen. Being on stupid pills mixed with no-sleep levels of manic and stress from dealing with random bitch attacks from my sister... well, I'm sure you get my point.
Along with this, I apologise to the >90% of my journal f-list who's not on DW as well as LJ; the site was being a jerk to me again, so I couldn't use it past cross-posting through DW. Hell, half the time, my computer couldn't see that even exsisted.

The gist of this? If I owe you something, you need me to do something, or anything else, please don't be afraid to tell me point-blank on here. I can semi-work LJ again and will be trying to catch up with you all.
Thank you for your understanding if you have even a little; I am fully aware of what a special case I've been the last while and I am going to do my damndest to improve.

edit: (aprox. 2h later) I've finally changed my LJ layout, which I've been meaning to do for at least 6 months, but probably needed doing for a lot longer then that. If it's too girly, juvinile or offends you visually in any other way, please feel free to tell me. I fully admit I do not have the best judgement right now.

comments

semi-living

2011-04-17T21:32:20Z

when I can relate to anything from Yelling Bird, it isn't a good sign.

Also, stoned on Ativan and semi-functional on very strong tea.

comments

blegh

2011-04-11T14:58:38Z

...so no sleeping caught up me me and I've been feeling like total crap for the last four or five days. Not fun. But in an effort to cheer myself up, I present a very silly song, which is also the perfect example as to why Studio 60 was awesome and bit the big one when it came to ratings.

.

comments

Ain't No Love (icons that are not QC-fandom)

2011-04-05T07:33:57Z

...maybe I'm looking for a reason to be upset? I don't know. I was trying to distract myself from the fact that LJ wasn't loading (and therefor couldn't make my daily_scifi entry), so I rewatched the damn thing twice on VHS, then tracked it down on the internet so I could make a bunck of icons for a scene I loath. Don't mind me. But then again, Elisabeth Röhm, so, pretty!

Can you tell I haven't slept right in days?

Also, if anyone wants 300+ caps of her in her final scene on Law & Order, let me know. Maybe then I can justify it in a better light?

comments

also...

2011-03-31T20:42:52Z

- It always shocks even me when it takes me just short of forever to write a post that I already (pretty much) know what I'm going to write. In this case, the last post took around two hours to do. I started at 12:20 and didn't get it done until 2:30.

- Yesterday, early evening (actually shortly before my computer fucked up), I made an icon in celebration of my (until that point) great luck. (Billy, from the opening of the pilot episode of The Bridge) It also took stupid-long, but at least this time I can blame it on needing to take 50+ caps of the scene -using VLC, which is slow to cap with-, and the scene cuts between characters very quickly.

- I'm trying to decide the... something, manors is the closest word, I guess, of distributing images (screen caps, scans, whatever) by someone else. Not on a website or anything, but as part of the (long overdue) December gifts for people. To make icons/pixel dolls/ect, I collected images all into one folder to make the actual making of the things easier, and I can't decide if I should also inclure a zip folder of the images for the recipients' use as well. I would also include a text file with credit to the source, but it still might be breaking internet ediquet or whatever.

comments

math is delicious!

2011-03-31T18:26:04Z

So, apparentally, being 23 is looking to be a good age. Even though I'm at the second worst point in my life health-wise, it feels like the universe is looking to help make up for it.

( so many awesome things are happening right now )

PS; please help me with this if you haven't already!

comments

well, this is encouraging

2011-03-31T16:22:02Z

"Abuse of prescription stimulants is higher amongst college students than non-college attending young adults. College students use methylphenidate either as a study aid or to stay awake longer. Increased alcohol consumption due to stimulant misuse has additional negative effects on health. Methylphenidate's pharmacological effect on the central nervous system is almost identical to that of cocaine. Studies have shown that the two drugs are nearly indistinguishable when administered intravenously to cocaine addicts.
Methylphenidate (re-direct from "Methylphenidate HCl") page at wikipedia.org

( why did I decide to look into this? )

comments

God fucking damnit! I need computer help

2011-03-31T03:24:28Z

Somehow, my Windows Defender program has been corrupted by a virus. I am using my mom's laptop to type this in the (unlikely) hope that someone is going to read this in the next hour or so and know what to do. I could try to restore my computer to an eariler date, but I'd loose all my files I've edited since, and knowing me, I'll probably end up fucking it up worse. ANYONE KNOW???

I'm also upset because until half an hour ago, I was writing a post saying how awesome things have been going. Goddamnit!

comments

need help with fandom-block

2011-03-30T05:10:49Z

this is a request to all of my f-list. Given that it looks like I'll have all of jack to do, I thought maybe I could make it a goal to acomplish one fan-thing a day. I'm hoping if you guys could help me out with giving me one of each of the list below, I could use them as prompts. (Also, to get done most of the December gifts I owe you.)

Each bullet is compleatly unrelated to the others. And hey, if you want to fill it out more then once, I won't complain, but what I'm begging for is if each of you could do it once.

character, 'ship, and episode from a fandom I know
1-4 related images or a link to a page of a collection of images (ie; a page with screencaps [page 4 of 1x06 caps])
adjective, noun and verb
expression or cliché
first name, object, colour
song title or line from a song
month and date (within the last year)
[(seven numbers b/t 01-20), (six numbers b/t 01-10), (three numbers b/t 01-50)] or, just mash on your number pad to make a long string of digets and I can seperate them.

Thanks in advance, guys. I really appreciate this.

comments

fried, but I learned something anyways

2011-03-29T17:51:26Z

Colbert: Mainly, I want to see it to get answers about the shocking regime collapse on everybody's mind; Canada's coalition minority government, lead by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, fell today. The Canadian government has fallen! As we speak, [I know a chilling story,] as we speak, marauding bands of rebel Inuit are storming parliament on beaver-back while embattled prime minister Stephen Harper orders mounties to dump cauldrons of mapel syrup on them!
- [March 28, 2011]

Good to know this is happening in my country.

Also, I may have a way to beat the hazy brain. Free-based crack* is the shit!

*I am in no way promoting free-based crack, or any other drug not perscribed by a licensed physician. In actuality, they have put me back on the brand-name ADD medication methylphenidate hydrochloride Concerta which has much different effects then the generic drug, as well as upping my dose to off-set the stupid-brain of my antipsychotics.

comments

weird

2011-03-26T05:39:18Z

Not that it affects me in any way, but this artical suprised me. Most likely because I have yet to see it mentioned by any of the masses of squeeing Hawaii Five-O remake slash fanatics.

Also, doing the Mass Wrangling shit that nobody enjoys (but needs doing) over at AO3. Which is where I found the link, in a very round-about way. And can I just say that "RPF" (aka Real Person Fanfiction) is compleatly terrifying.

comments

much babbling about Law & Order

2011-03-25T18:18:45Z

Over the last few weeks, I've spent a lot of time watching various Law & Order episodes; season 20 (recorded myself when they were airing new), season 16/17 at 5pm on Bravo, and old tapes of anything from S1 to (I think) S15, which I got from my grade 11 English teacher. So excuse the L&O (TOS) spam, k?
...and can I just say how cool it is to watch the older episodes without having any of it cut for more add time? There are scenes I'm getting to see that I'm pretty sure have been hacked because older shows had more show to them. Also, I don't mind watching the adds that are there because even they are kind of entertaining, seeing the differences between the styles now and 15-20 years ago. Hell, even five years ago.
NOTE; some episode spoilers

( many various thoughts and points in no order other than that which I watched in )

comments

yeah... I've been less then productive

2011-03-24T08:19:31Z

Well, I like them anyways. I'd rather have been sleeping, but that didn't happen and I couldn't focus on reading a computer screen to catch up on my friends' pages.

comments

12 thoughts from the past two weeks that were retained long enough to record

2011-03-24T03:56:17Z

***** these were written at various times over the last few weeks when I thought them but was too fried to post. I apologise if there are any typos; each and every one was all but unreadable when I actually typed them, but I did run it through spell-check on MS Word, so I hope I got the majority of the mess. *****
sad fact just editing and cleaning this up took... too long. I opened the page at "22:43" and finished at "23:55". Jeeze.

- I really dislike wiki sites. It took me this side of forever to not hate them immediately because of the potential unreliability of them (I don't care what anyone says about how a wrong answer can be corrected as quickly as under a minute; I know of four incidents involving people I know personally and in 'real life' [as opposed to on-line] where it was the wrong information that kept getting 'corrected'), ( bitching because I can't figure out the damn rules + gushing over ComicVine )

- Sometimes, words are awesome but right now, I despise my vocabulary. Unless I know someone really well**, I can come off as either harsh, pissed off or attacking when I don't mean too. Apparently, saying that 'x' template email was used to justify the deletion of a submission is being rude, but that's the most descriptive word I can come up with. "Explain" doesn't fit because the email didn't explain anything.
**or they happen to ~~have an X-Files reference as their username~~ not be angered because they say the same things with the intent of ~~being a (funny) pain in the ass~~ being harsh.

added in editing/just before posted (this isn't something that needs to be said on a general post, but I'm going to anyways) I am more than a little amused by this note and it's sub-point because I had a conversation on this very subject last night with her.

- You know how sometimes when you watch a show that you haven't seen in a long time and when you watch it again, you wonder how you didn't see how truly **awful** it is? Well, I caught myself thinking the reverse when I was watching Star Trek; Voyager a while back. I always remember it as being poorly acted in the beginning, not all that good with continuity, having created Seven for gratuities sexuality and just really hokey. I attribute watching it to it being _Star Trek_. But when I actually watch it, it's not nearly as bad as I always think of it.

- ( http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=91) I cannot comprehend a situation where paying for alcohol is equivalent to covering pizza except maybe in the case of a children's BD party and the parents of birthday child drinking after.

- spent a full day dicking around on the Blue Bloods Wikia site. A very long no-point detail list of what specifically I did and justifications for everything can be found here; http://bluebloodstv.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Pixie_child/self-absorbed_mind_drop

- I have found a new way to be horrified and very amused at the same time; http://wonkette.com/. ( shifting blame + recs found at 2AM )

- Wow, I'm getting a little political lately. I know it is just through quoting one of the awesome-ness of one of the coolest "Old Guys" on TV, but still. They're directly currently politically-related, so it feels pretty damn close. And while I'm pretty sure no one on my f-list** is a [what's the US equivalent of Canada's Conservative party? I can't keep the two names separate because unlike up here in the land of "Universal" health care, neither words are (as far as I know) words in the English language], but just in case, I apologise. I don't want to offend anyone. Well, not unless you would vote the illiterate media ~~whore~~, ah, "companion". Then I am not going to say anything in your regard, because I'm a firm believer in the rights of everyone, but you really challenge that.
**reading this and not a member of my f-list? Seriously? Well, after questioning your sanity (^_^), I invite you to contact me either through commenting, PM-ing via LJ or DW, or emailing me! If I haven't scared you off yet, I'm almost guaranteed to be more than willing to babble incoherently with you.

- suddenly overwhelmed by 14-year-old guilt from back when I spent two weeks with my aunt and uncle. ( an instance where I was reminded how everything is a reflection on my father )

- I'm easily amused. Apparently, Jeri Ryan's birth last name is Zimmerman. cue Star Trek-related giggles
- also just learned that she turned down a cameo offer to be in (Star Trek) Nemesis, and only asked Kate Mulgrew after. I have nothing against Jeri Ryan, but seriously? Janeway made much more sense than Seven of Nine to appear.

- this is super cute; http://www.kimonostownhouse.com/

- I fucking hate the '07 layout of Microsoft Word, but I [well, my OSAP grant] paid for it and it would be stupid to pay for a downgrade just because I'm a stubborn jackass when it comes to change. I just wish I could do the same thing with it as I did for running Windows Vista (I've got it set to look like Windows '98).

- I really like using DreamWidth as my alpha journal for many reasons, but the major ones are that the posting interface just feels cleaner and the staff is so damn helpful and friendly. Also, because I don't have to fight with logging in and DW allows me to cross-post. That being said, I guess LJ has spoiled me because I find it incredibly inconvenient not to be able to tag my entries with a tick-box list and it drives me up the wall when I want to have more than one space at a time, because you just can't do it in the Rich Text format (they are removed in the post), and if you put the   into the code box then switch to Rich Text for any reason, they are removed then as well. Little things, but they get to me.

+ another thing I had intended to add to my list of upcoming posts; a work-in-progress meme. It is actually one of the few things I could have done in the last few weeks, because it would require little thought, except that there are at least 75+ files in my "in progress" folder and have no idea how to compile the list without having to copy/paste or re-type all the file names out.

comments

I think this may be the only time one tag applies

2011-03-23T02:28:54Z

...I'm still alive? Just sayin'. Mostly because if I say so now, I'll remember to post a longer update tomorrow.

(1) I've got two long text files of point-form, one about all the Law & Order I've been watching in my 24/5 (my mom drives me up the wall on weekends) at home and one that proves I believe I'm the center of the universe
(2) I went to a Melissa Ethridge concert last Saturday, which was my mom's birthday gift.
(3) Prompt demands disguised as requests of at least 10 things per, in an attempt to acomplish at least one thing per day.
(4) Major things in my life aside from my health and school are looking up.

spoiler (of upcoming posts):

1. Huh. After 2+ weeks of watching Law & Order then last night's episode of The Daily Show; Huh. Jon Stewart looks kind of like E.A.D.A. Mike Cutter [aka Linus Roache] (the guy who took over from McCoy in the last two seasons). Well, I guess, Cutter looks like Jon Stewart (I think, assuming Roache is younger then (than? I hate these two words) Stewart, but whatever. Maybe that's why I warmed up to him so quickly (and in no way because I refuse to admit it's because I can relate to him via his thing for Rubirosa).
2. I could have sworn it was K. T. Tunstall who sang "What I Wanna Know", not Serena Ryder. Then again, I hadn't realized that I was a fan of Ryder until last Saturday, so (to quote cassievalentine, in a compleatly unrelated context), what the hell do I know?

edit(1): (speaking of watching tDS...) "We're at war? Again? I don't want to be a pain in the ass, but don't we already have two wars? You know, wars aren't kids, where you don't have to pay attention to the youngest one because the older two will take care of it. Not a baby war." ... "So, predictably, two days after the sanctions we just start bombing the shit out of them."

comments

i made an icon

2011-03-10T17:03:41Z

...yeah. I'm way to proud of this. But I finally managed to acomplish something.

Well, listen, here's what we're gonna do; We're gonna figure out who did this, and we're gonna string him up by his family jewels. It's not gonna bring her back, but it's gonna make you feel better.
(Jackie Curatola - Blue Bloods: Little Fish [1x11])

comments

huh?

2011-02-24T17:23:15Z

Okay, when you're having trouble following The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, it's a sign you're too loopy to acomplish anything, make wise decisions or spell correctly. Too bad I didn't catch it back at 2:00AM, huh?

But I heard, understood and had the brain capasity to look the quote up (because God knows I'm not typing a line of at least 25 words!) and pass it along.

Colbert: For the record, I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman whose experience as a failed Vice Presidential candidate, half term governor and eight episode reality star, has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal.
[Jan. 25, 2011]

i_want_2 , it reminded me of you. How did you put it, "Fucking retarded"?

comments

hiya! (and sexy electrocution)

2011-02-23T16:54:43Z

I have been home since Sunday. I am still feeling crazy, but to the few friends I mentioned my, uh, experimentation with my meds, it was informative. The second night, I actually had Greg a little worried because I was so mellow (and not bouncing off the walls or wanting to spin around every thirty minutes), happy just to watch Andromeda and either doodle or play Solitare.

Also, because I am too ADD to work on the over-due holiday gifts, I have been staring at a story board for one of my own conceps that will never see the light of day, and coming up with 'clever' t-shirt designs for a specific tries-too-hard character. ∴ this lead to me having to check with Google to see if it was "Rule 43" or "Rule 34", and I re-found this; http://www.xkcd.com/305/ Likely most of the internet population has read it before, but it's silly and cute.

PS (another dumb quote); I can't get "All right, you liberal pansy sex fiends! 1940s morality is back and it's going to set you fuckers straight!" out of my head. Which is not abnormal, but what should be at least a little worring is that even as an uptight, margenly homophobic, mock (as in, not from a real comic), Steve Rogers still just seems 'quirky'. (from this mock, which I've rec-ed before and am sure most of you have seen as well.)

comments

...really? -This- is innaproperate?

2011-02-17T16:51:44Z

"...hi lady. What's my number?"

This is the message I sent to my sister, about tow minutes after asking her if she minded if I sent her a text. (I needed her to tell me my cell number. I couldn't find it anywhere.) It is also the reason for her to be pissed at me today. Apparentally, it's creepy, because it sounds like I'm hitting on her. This is the girl who talks about "banging" specific old men (RDA, Jon Stewart, Sam Waterston and Richard Belzer usually), "diddling little Asian children", "jizzing" in her pants if she ever visits Japan and describes having her period in the most graphic ways possible. And these are just the first examples that come to mind.

comments

...actually, I can't complain about this...

2011-02-16T18:16:10Z

I've had this quote in my head on and off for about a week. Until I looked it up, I could have sworn it was Cain that said it, but whatever. Not that I'm complaining either about having it in my head or about being wrong. It's the most normal thing my brain has produced in too long.

"Let's all sit down and talk about how we feel about martial law."
~ Ellen Tigh, (Battlestar Galactica, 2003; 2x04)

( the full line (& semi-context) of the quote )

Don't say it; I refuse to admit my brain is connecting this to anything in relivent news.
Also, because I'm actually a little linear today, I am not obsessing on people I know or know of who pull this BS. Linear is nice.

comments

English and I have come to a tentative agreement

2011-02-15T16:22:52Z

Yesterday's problem has sorted itself out, pretty much. I can understand people again, but it does take some effort. Luckily (in regards to communicating with insensitive jackasses), I usually respond (and generally speak) so fast that my delay just makes me seem close to average and just a little slow.

( CMHC is run by doctors who gave themselves their MD )

I'm going to see my GP today. He listens to me and tries to help.

comments

Please write, do not call

2011-02-15T00:51:47Z

Not only was the doctor's visit a waist of three hours, but now I have been afflicted my that weird thing from DS9. I cannot comprehend English. I was watching SGA and all the words are garbled. I can read and write, but not understand spoke words.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

comments