fai_dust: law & order: 15x13 - Ain't No Love (Default)
So, apparentally, being 23 is looking to be a good age. Even though I'm at the second worst point in my life health-wise, it feels like the universe is looking to help make up for it.

so many awesome things are happening right now )

PS; please help me with this if you haven't already!
fai_dust: Blue Bloods: 1x11 - Little Fish (blue bloods: 1x11 - curatola)
"Abuse of prescription stimulants is higher amongst college students than non-college attending young adults. College students use methylphenidate either as a study aid or to stay awake longer. Increased alcohol consumption due to stimulant misuse has additional negative effects on health. Methylphenidate's pharmacological effect on the central nervous system is almost identical to that of cocaine. Studies have shown that the two drugs are nearly indistinguishable when administered intravenously to cocaine addicts.
Methylphenidate (re-direct from "Methylphenidate HCl") page at wikipedia.org
why did I decide to look into this? )
fai_dust: Star Trek; DS9: 7x03 (.back on track)

I have been home since Sunday. I am still feeling crazy, but to the few friends I mentioned my, uh, experimentation with my meds, it was informative. The second night, I actually had Greg a little worried because I was so mellow (and not bouncing off the walls or wanting to spin around every thirty minutes), happy just to watch Andromeda and either doodle or play Solitare.

Also, because I am too ADD to work on the over-due holiday gifts, I have been staring at a story board for one of my own conceps that will never see the light of day, and coming up with 'clever' t-shirt designs for a specific tries-too-hard character. ∴ this lead to me having to check with Google to see if it was "Rule 43" or "Rule 34", and I re-found this; http://www.xkcd.com/305/ Likely most of the internet population has read it before, but it's silly and cute.

PS (another dumb quote); I can't get "All right, you liberal pansy sex fiends! 1940s morality is back and it's going to set you fuckers straight!" out of my head. Which is not abnormal, but what should be at least a little worring is that even as an uptight, margenly homophobic, mock (as in, not from a real comic), Steve Rogers still just seems 'quirky'. (from this mock, which I've rec-ed before and am sure most of you have seen as well.)
fai_dust: BtVS: 1x12 - Prophecy Girl (.sick)
Yesterday's problem has sorted itself out, pretty much. I can understand people again, but it does take some effort. Luckily (in regards to communicating with insensitive jackasses), I usually respond (and generally speak) so fast that my delay just makes me seem close to average and just a little slow.

CMHC is run by doctors who gave themselves their MD )

I'm going to see my GP today. He listens to me and tries to help.

so... yeah

Feb. 14th, 2011 09:46 am
fai_dust: BtVS: 1x12 - Prophecy Girl (.sick)
Friday, I was actually blind for a large part of the day due to weird images right in my direct line of sight and thick, black, oily outlines that took up everything but my peripheral vision. Not fun. I did, however, get most of my fanfic that was on my LJ moved to the DW comm. Yay.
Still feel like shit, though, and I'm still seeing things. I do have an appointment with CMHC (or whatever the hell they're calling it now), so maybe something can be done about it sooner then my other medical issues.
Spent the weekend running errends, which is not fun at any time, but even worse when there's things going on that aren't real but seem like it.
Also, I feel all foggy-brained today. Yuck.
fai_dust: battlestar 2003: 1x02 - Water (.breakdown)

I'm having hallucinations, this time worse then anything I can remember that wasn't caused by a week of no sleep. So I couldn't go to school today. Also, I missed Thursday because I couldn't walk. This is not good.

Lots of weird shit going on, none of it staying in my head long enough to post. And my minset has been just this side of too serious to be fully happy. Yuck.

So to go with my mindset (and because I've run out of funny/light hearted drama with silly banter, not to mention attempting to shake a rather peculiar image from my crazy-brain), I present you quotes from Law and Order 6x23, because even though the whole episode is depressing on every level, it's got that whole moral-delema from both perspectives that caused so much contraversy and a lot of character bulding. blah,blah[mini rant/review of ep],blah,blah )
You can quit the profession, Claire. You just can't quit the human race. )
And now for two other TV related bitching points;
- Big Bang Theory; did anyone else get the impression that whole creepy Raj fantasizing about the squeeky girl was an excuese to get away with the dance sequance?
- Mr. Sunshine; I liked the pilot, although it felt like Matthew Perry took all my favorite aspects of his character in Studio 60 and used them in this. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. It was cute. And if it manages to stay the way it was set up, it won't make it past a full season. Suck is the way of comedy with quazi non-PC humor.
fai_dust: battlestar 2003: 1x06 - Litmus (.pessimistic)

Holy... Well, that flu thing I mentioned? Has moved into my chest and become something else. But since I finally couldn't justify it anymore, I decided to tackle my inbox. Big mistake; over 3000 unread emails. Now, granted, at least half are bound to be LJ alerts about comms I "track", but still, it's overwealming. I'm sorry if you're waiting on me. I'll do the best I can.

explination for the RENT post: when I get sick for a streach of time, I get pathetic and that song either gets me off my ass or really cranky. Or at least, it always has until two days ago. It didn't seem to do much then, but I chalk that up to what has probably become a lung infection.

health&home bitching )
fai_dust: Questionable Content #1696 (.sick: sleepless)

I'm all bleghy now. My fault, when I don't sleep, my mood is impressionable and I just watched the Angel episode "A Hole in the World".
Also, still don't want to go out tonight, but I'm going to because Dee's, uh, going to NY tomorrow so I'll be a trooper. And Liz at least doubly so, because she's going for me.
Umm... made a burried at the bottom post collecting the random quotes I've used, mostly for my own amusement but you can see it here; http://fai-dust.dreamwidth.org/20016.html  and  http://fai-dust.livejournal.com/70662.html 

Ooh! And over the last little while, I've added new icons to my DW account. All are here, but I'm mainly mentioning it because of the Hawaii 5-0 ones (the first two below), I really like stairing at the one of Heightmeyer (center) (I really wish she had been in more episodes of SGA) and the ones of Ro & Ro/Yar from the Star Trek TNG comic "The Last Generation" (last two)
And I still can't remember what I had origonally planned to do when I sat down almost 4 hours ago. It's really starting to bug me.
Edit: Oh, and I created a handful of new tags for my journal(s) with silly names, including one Eureka reference. Now the fun part; going back through all my old entries and adding them. ...why do I do this to myself?
fai_dust: marvel comics: NewWarriorsIV - issue #05 (.stay positive)

Okay, technically I've been home since the thirtith, but I had a terrible flight home (including the first flight being delayed so that the connecting flight was missed [leading to an extra 5-6h, making the entire thing 16+h] and a freaky hallucination of creepy, evil bugs attacking me [I wasn't so far gone that I didn't realiz that it was a hallucination, thank God. I just locked my jaw and freaked out internally] and from, like, the next morning until now, I felt like I had the flu.

-- bzzz! I am feeling very giggle!spaz-y right now with post-sickness endorphins. It is a good feeling!--
blah,blah,blah... Holiday Cards + M*A*S*H quote )
fai_dust: marvel comics: NewWarriorsIV - issue #05 (.stay positive)

I've been feeling very crappy the last few days; sorry for no posts. However, I must say, one major cool factor to being fdown here is that (obviously) I'm regestering as having a US IP address so I can watch Daily Show clips to my hearts content. Lewis Black is totally bug-nuts love. Also, Wanda Sykes kicks ass and if I were to ever get an old-man crush (which, eww, but if the Earth rotated backwards and I liked men), it would be on Richard Belzer, because, seriously, there are no words. Ooh, and this Melissa Ethridge clip - I know the whole gay marrage thing has been gone over to death, but she's, like, my favorite artest and it's funny.
   EDIT: Warning; if you decide to follow this link and the pre-clip add is for Jose Cuervo and causes the page to darken, hit mute! The sound is way louder than the clip and will cause you shock and pain. It's like they're giving you a small sample of the potential hangover their product contains!
    Edit(2): (another gay-rights thing, sorry) Lewis Black on Prop 8 (& misc. props); http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-november-4-2004/back-in-black---election-results - for rome reason, this reminds me of [personal profile] lilpocketninja . Probably because of the shit survay she had in her class a while back.
Liz: I scored another gigantic bottle of vodka for less then $24! Shall we see how much of a dent we can make in it some weekend evening?
fai_dust: BtVS: 1x12 - Prophecy Girl (.sick)
Great. I was just starting to feel better on Monday & Tuesday, then I get what felt like the damn flu yesterday. I'm feeling a bit better now, but I am dreading this evening/tomorrow morning. I DO NOT WANT TO FLY TO TEXAS AT STUPID-AM TO SPEND A WEEK WITH A MAN WHO'S GREATEST IDEA OF "BONDING" WITH HIS CHILDREN IS TO MOCK & RIDICULE THE OTHER TWO!

...and now that I have that out of my system, I feel a little better. I am still working on catching up on all my coraspondence, though, so if you emailed me, I wil try to get back to you soon. Also, writing those long-overdue posts I mentioned weeks ago.
fai_dust: Questionable Content #1696 (.sick: sleepless)

Alive and (semi) functional. I'm buzzing at a friend's house (love you, [personal profile] conser) watching my Eureka S1 DVDs & hoping to be able to work on December holiday gifts tomorrow. Because while it's doubtful I'll get them done in time, I'd really like to.
Speaking of updates, I am no longer confined to my bed (in cases the at a friends' wasn't obvious) as I have been in the past week.
fai_dust: BtVS: 1x12 - Prophecy Girl (.sick)
See the subject? (i_want_2, you can bite me. ^_^) Yeah. Utterly physically exausted. Been feeling like crap for almost two weeks, Tuesday was beyond bad and I can barely move without feeling like I may collaps. Ooh, and I have an exam in less then two hours.
But still. Not dead.
fai_dust: marvel comics: NewWarriorsIV - issue #05 (.stay positive)

...which seems about par for the course on LJ. I was cleaning out my various bags (purse, laptop case, girly backpack meant for small children & Hello Kitty tin lunchbox I use as a smaller purse) and I realized just how many things I jot down on Post-Its and the backs of scrap paper to write about (on LJ or just my real journal) that have actual substance but by the time I'm at my computer, they're either forgotten or displaces by unimportant rambling.
(1) - Wow. I never what level of controversy Ctrl+Alt+Del had surrounding it. It's... shocking, to say the least.
(2) - I have been meaning to say this for a few weeks now, but I forget almost right after my "lesson" (which I suspect is subconsciously intentional); I can no longer innocentally enjoy Greg Land's art without either seeing bad art, bad "things", or getting mild vertigo from all the weird angles in one frame. No fair!
(3) - [personal profile] i_want_2 , remember when you said the "writers' block" that goes beyong writing and covers all fandom-related things is called "fandom burnout"? You don't happen to know a cure, do you?
(4) - LJ finally got back to me on the support question I posted over a month ago about being unable to log in; they quoted the FAQ at me. Really? It took them over a month to direct me there? I wonder if LJ's hiring from the Toaster School of Tech Support as well...
(5) - Yesterday, my blood pressure shot right down, so I couldn't get out of bed until noon and was pretty useless all day. Today, my left arm is seizuring so badly I have to sit on it. Blegh. Could be worse; it could be my right arm. I'll take what I can get.
+ remember all those subjects I mentioned on Friday? I'll get to them (even if you don't care). I know this because three of them are half-typed.
fai_dust: Questionable Content #1696 (.sick: sleepless)
Hi. I am still alive, but just as exausted as I was Tuesday. Bad timing, given that my exams are a week from today and the Monday that follows. Many updates from the past few days will be up over the weekend, including sucess at home, venting about the loosers in my program, crankyness at the so-called "Nuctcracker" I went to see tonight, and amusement at my grandmother who has just discovered porn. Ooh, and many comic recs from Questionable Content & Ctrl+Alt+Del, because reading comics is all I've been able to do for the last little while. ^_^
fai_dust: Questionable Content #1696 (.sick: sleepless)

Well, even though my city has a ridiculous cost of living, piss-poor bus system and irritating as hell garbage program, one thing that's really nice is that there are a bunch of inexpensive restaurants with good food. After my appointment, my mom and I went for lunch at a pub around the corner from the doctor who's big deal is that half of their menu is Indian (and the closest to actual Indian food as you can get in my city at that), but they also have good other food. The grilled cheese is real cheese, and not only did they let me sub my fries with the cream of mushroom soup without any extra charge, but it was a giant bowl of soup and was actually filling - it was clearly made from scratch, using real cream and fresh mushrooms - and I could only eat half of both before I was full. My mom got a chicken pot pie and salad (also no extra charge for the sub.), which would be neither hear nor there, but both our meals (and her soda) only came to $21.
On the health front; my second MRI came back inconclusive and the EEG I had done a few months ago was clean, but the doctor said that before I go under potentially unnecessary surgery, he's going to put me on a waiting list for a seasure clinic for a four or five day observation. I gather it'll be a while before I get in, but even though it's unlikely, he said it could potentialy be seasures that are causing everything else, including the (suspected, but all my doctors agree most likely) minor stroke I had a few months back. But I'm choosing to see the upside; no brain surgery in the near future! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!
fai_dust: Battlestar 2003: miniseries (.devil's advocate)
Prioritizing has never been my strong suit, which is oh-so-evidet to me right now. It is 2:15 AM and even though I have been in a groggy stupor all day, I cannot sleep. Which is a pain in the ass at any time, but even more so when I have a specialest appointment tomorrow. But whatever. What's really bugging me is that over an hour ago, I decided to stop trying (it never works) and spend some time working on December-holiday gifts, because my timeline is all f-ed up allready and it's going to be tight. So what have I sepnt the time doing? Reading Ctrl+Alt+Del comics which I ought to know by heart because I started from the begining, am only up to June of 2004 and used to spend every weekend I spent at my dad's reading them (years ago, granted, but still).

Oh, and even working on fandom gifts is technically procrastinating, because I should be working on the assignments for my on-line class that I was given an extention on. *sigh*

ps; icon fun )

edit 1.0 - (2:59 AM); Well fuck. In case there is anyone who reads my journal and doesn't follow xkcd (unlikely, but I didn't until a few months ago when [info]conser told me they have a syndicate at LJ), read this. semi-sarcastic spoilercut )But it doesn't, and, oddly, it cheered me up a little about my appointment tomorrow in nine hours.
edit 1.1(3:11 AM) I actually went to comment on the feed, because I thought it would be nice to let the artest know their work affected me. I can't though. *sigh* I keep forgetting that I can't log in and end up getting frusterated all over again.
fai_dust: marvel comics: X-23; Target X - issue #06 (.blank)

Don't mix tranqus with drinking. Even if it's taking the medication the day (well, 10 hours) after the heavy drinking.
I went to Toronto Sunday night for drinking and watching Firefly. It was fun, but when I was bussing back to my city Monday morning, I started to have a panic attack so I took my medication for it. Big mistake. I had next to no muscle control the rest of the day (at one point, I actually just dropped on the dround and could not stand for probably ten minutes) and slept for about 16 hours last night. I woke up after noon today and I can barely function even now. Blegh.
Also, neurologist appointment tomorrow. I had better be functional by then.


Nov. 25th, 2010 05:03 pm
fai_dust: BtVS: 1x12 - Prophecy Girl (.disappointed)
Y'know, I've always hated the thought process of "Why me?" Probably because with all my health isues, it would just lead to a lifetime of self-involved wallowing. Also, because it sounds like you believe someone else would somehow be more deserving of the shit you're going through. But right now, I can't help it. All the shit going on right now is just too damn much. I swear, it's like my life is a terrible drama where someone tried to take all the extream cliché of evening drama programs and threw them all on one person. Right now, I feel like it's the only explination. Who else has to deal with all this shit?

May 2011

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